When we were getting married, the priest gave us advice I’ve never forgotten:
Keep the problem in front of you, not between you.
He told us to picture a triangle — two people on one side, the problem at the third point. The work of a strong relationship is to stay shoulder-to-shoulder, facing the issue together. The moment the problem slides between you, everything changes. It becomes you vs. me instead of us vs. it.
That same shift — from opposition to alignment — is what great teams (and great leaders) learn to do instinctively.
And oddly enough, a video game just showed us how powerful that shift can be.
What Leaders Can Learn from Helldivers 2
When Helldivers 2 launched, it exploded — over 400,000 concurrent players on Steam, millions more across platforms.
But here’s the real story: it’s not a competitive game. It’s PvE (player vs. environment), not PvP.
Everyone fights on the same side. Every player contributes to the same global war effort, even if they’re in different matches.
The result? Faster growth, higher retention, and remarkably low toxicity.
No one’s trying to beat each other — they’re trying to win together.
Players laugh off mistakes. They help strangers. Communication is simple, often just pings and preset voice lines — and yet collaboration happens almost seamlessly.
When you remove the opponent and make the problem the common enemy, people step up. They share information. They forgive errors. They improvise with grace.
Why It Works — in Games and in Leadership
It’s not just a clever game mechanic; it’s neuroscience and behavioral design.
When a problem is “in front of us,” our brains stay open. We stay curious. We access creativity, empathy, and problem-solving regions rather than defensiveness or blame.
When it’s “between us,” our threat response triggers.
Our goal becomes protecting ego, not solving the issue.
The difference is visible in every team meeting:
- The ones where people fight to be right — versus the ones where they fight for what’s right.
- The ones that close down when conflict appears — versus the ones that get stronger when it does.
The Leadership Activation
If your team seems stuck in debate, frustration, or defensiveness, try a Helldivers move:
- Name the shared mission. Remind everyone what you’re trying to achieve together.
- Externalize the problem. Draw it, map it, put it on the whiteboard — literally move it in front of you.
- Reframe feedback. “What are we learning?” beats “Who’s at fault?” every time.
- Celebrate micro-wins. Small moments of progress strengthen alignment.
The best leaders create cultures that feel more like co-op campaigns than internal battlegrounds.
Because whether it’s a marriage, a team, or a million players across the world — the moment we keep the problem in front of us, we all win more often.
